For My Dear Friend Out There (you know who you are)

Quick somebody help me
Quick somebody tell me
Define love for me
Tell me what it is
Show me how it works
For to this day I know not what love is

I once thought I had the greatest love of all
A true undying love
Love that will last and pass the test of time
One I was sure to die without

So somebody please tell me
And tell me quick
Why is it that I no longer mourn?
Why is it that I can still smile?
Why is it that I can still laugh?
Without what I once thought was the air I breathe

Someone help me
Someone tell me
Was it love or mere infatuation?
Was it passion or was it fear?

So here’s a message to my dear friend out there
Who is convinced of the enduring love she has
Please take one step back
So you can leap the miles you truly deserve

You will walk in the dark
And you will hurt
Tears will pour
And scars will cut you
But as the wise man says, have faith
For time heals all wounds

Believe and keep believing
Your heart is yours and yours alone
All that was meant to be will be
Everything will resolve itself

So have courage my dear friend
Take the first step
And every bit of pain you suffer will redeem itself
Soon the numbness will melt away
And a brand new day will arrive

The day you can smile
The day you can laugh
The day you can joke
And the tears you shed will no longer be of hurt
But of pure gratefulness

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I remember an episode of Seinfeld. Elaine is at Barney’s New York, trying out a dress. She looks in the mirror, she’s tall and slender, and she looks perfect in the dress. Of course she buys the dress! But when she comes home and tries the dress again, it didn’t look as great. Then she realizes, it must be the mirrors! The mirrors were lying to her!!!

I was out shopping with Shelly the other day, and that is what we realized. All the mirrors in the changing room of every store we went to, it seems, were designed to make you look taller and slimmer. Because somehow, anything you wore would look much better on you. Smart, sly, marketers!!! I guess all those clothing retail stores are guilty of it.

I wonder how many people are dissatisfied with what they see in the mirror every morning? If I wanted to, I have a ton of things to complain about. My unbearably short height, my terrible skin, the dark rings forming under my eyes (due to my dysfunctional biorhythm for the past several weeks), and at least one other “defect” I don’t wish to mention here. I can choose to sulk and be unhappy about it, but is it worth it? I guess it’s better to learn to live with my imperfections. Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has their own flaws. Stop thinking about what I don’t have. Focus on what I have, and make the best of it. There’s already a lot to be grateful for.

Hot & Cold

This past week the weather has been absolutely beautiful. The fresh spring breeze, the warm tender sun, the sounds of birds chirping, it’s all perfect. People walk around in Ts, sandals, shorts, miniskirts, occasionally one wears a light jacket. But wait, wait, wait…. if that’s the case, why am I wearing socks, a sweater, and sweatpants in my own dorm??!!! Well, thanks to the great heating system at Daniels, I get to wear tank tops and shorts in the midst of winter, but have to wear sweaters and pants in the flourish of spring. It’s clear they’ve turned off the heating by now, and it’s been freezing cold inside these past two weeks!!! Oh well, I guess life is full of paradoxes.

Love at First Sight

We went to Walmart a couple of weeks ago. Not one of my favorite places to shop, but since I tagged along (alias menebeng), I didn’t have much of a say in choosing where to shop. Anyway, as I was walking through the millions of aisles in that superstore, while listening to William Hung blaring through their speakers (yes, they actually played his album!!), I ran across a bright red foldable “mushroom chair.” It was love at first sight! Especially because right behind the display, was a big bold label indicating “SALE $15.” I don’t know if I fell in love with the chair itself, or the thought of being able to buy a chair for 15 bucks. I always did want to buy a comfy chair for myself, but come to think of it, there’s not so much room in my dorm for an extra chair. I walked away from the display but couldn’t get that chair out of my head. Then I thought, “What the heck! I’ll just take the chair!”

The lovely chair has been in my room for two weeks or so. I’ve only sat on it not more than five times, each time not more than 5 minutes. Now it’s become just another place for me to put all my junk.

This tells me something about love at first sight. There may be such a thing. But, there’s no guarantee that that love will still exist at second, third, or fourth sight! So before you make any hash decision, think and think again!

Blisters...ouch!

The weather was gorgeous when I was heading for church this evening, 69 F! So I decided it was finally time to try out a new pair of flat-heeled mules I got about two months ago. It only took that 10 minute walk for me to realize that these mules were killing me! Evidently that was also all it took to give me two blisters, one on each of my (pinky) toes and a nice scar on another toe. Because of that, I realized I wouldn’t be able to walk my way back home. So I waited 30 minutes for the bus for what would’ve been a 10 minute walk. Oh well, there goes another pair of mules. Maybe I should stick to my search for comfy sneakers :P

But there’s always a lesson to learn… when shopping for shoes always try (and try again) before you buy. Cuz there’ll be a time when you can’t always return what you purchased (as in my 2 month old ‘new’ mules). Likewise, there will always be times when you can’t take back the decisions you made in your life.

The Great Procrastinator

Why is it that I always leave things to do 'til the last minute? Always…always…always???

I remember that day when we had an Advertising Research presentation due, and Astri and I stayed up the whole night through and worked like crazy to finish that paper! Astri dictated while I typed away in front of the computer, with my eyes closed!!! What a drive to campus that morning was...!

Then there was the sum-sig disaster which I care not to even talk about. So you know, a sum-sig stands for summary of significance. A horrible repulsive graphic chart summarizing significant scores that's just painstakingly crazy to make. The very thing I despise most about working in makret research!

And of course there was the day I spent the whole night up finishing up on a paper due at 10 o’clock that morning. I succeeded to finish a great piece by 7 am…so I decided I get a 2 hour sleep before heading for class and handing in my paper. So guess what time I woke up??? Yup…you guessed right, 10 am alright!!! Just in time to be late for class…:P

At least the next paper I had due, I managed to finish the night before… and to be honest that felt really strange. I was very proud of myself... but again I didn't feel like myself. Hehe! So I guess I’m back to the old habit now.

So why do I never learn from this? I certainly don’t know… And why am I even writing this blog now, when I have a ton of things due tomorrow (and starting to get sleepy)? You answer!

But I’m trying…really I am…bit by bit…I’m trying to break this great habit of mine. I’ll keep you updated. I promise :P