Do I Know?

The next time you look at your partner,
ask yourself this question:
Do I know this person?
Do I really know this person?

And the answer, will most likely be no.
A big n-o, as in NO!

You may know what he likes or what she doesn’t like
You may know his favorite drink or her most loved dessert
You may also know how he snores or how she talks in her sleep
And you may also know the downright nitty-gritty things
like how he likes his coffee or how she prefers her toast

But do you really know what’s running in his head when he gazes into your eyes?
Or what she’s really feeling when she’s showering you with her words of love?

Do you really know what he’s doing
when he’s busy working overtime?
Do you really know what she’s doing
when she’s on her over-the-weekend business trip?
Do you really know why he's so "into" working out lately?
Is it for the sake of staying in shape?
Do you really know why she insists on getting a second cellphone?
Is it for the sake of keeping up with technology?

The hard honest truth is that you don’t know, and will never know
And the plain bitter reality is that there’s nothing you can do about it

So the best thing to do is assume the good
And think of the best intentions
All you can do is trust
with your most thorough ability

There may be a time however, when you discover
that the people you think you know most, are the people you know least
and the people you love most, are the ones who hurt you skin deep

So if you eventually find out he’s been lying through his teeth
Or she’s been knifing you behind your back
You can only be guilty of being honest
Being openly loving
And being unquestionably trusting

Run with All Your Might

This morning, I saw a girl running with all her might trying to catch the same bus I had just gotten off of. Her cheeks were red, her hair flying in all directions, and her breath was out of place. Yet, despite all her great effort, the bus took off without mercy.

The same exact thing happened to me a while ago. It was early morning (according to my schedule, at least) on a January day. Lala called to let me know that Sting was coming to town. Not wanting to miss out on the chance to see Sting live in concert, and not wanting to run out of tickets, I instantly got out of bed and dressed as fast as I could.

Lala & I walked to the nearest bus stop and waited patiently in the freezing winter weather. The sun was nice that day, but the wind was harsh. Finally, the great “23” bus approached and we both couldn’t wait to get on. But funnily, as if it weren’t obvious enough how these two cute girls were ecstatic to get on - the bus drove by us…just like that!

So what was our next instinctive move? We ran and ran and ran…in that cold air, on those slippery streets with ice melting away. We didn’t think much, we just ran to catch the great “23” at its next stop about two blocks away. Alas... for the second time, at that next stop, the bus sped away, leaving us looking like two total idiots. Having embarrassed ourselves in front of a whole bunch of people , we didn’t have much choice except to laugh away.

Isn’t it funny sometimes? How our hard work can sometimes be so invisible? How we work day and night on a project, only to be overlooked? How we make a great effort to impress a person, only to have it go unnoticed? But also how we build great fears in ourselves, only to see that everything worked out right?

It’s like going to a great party or a prom, I guess. You want to look your best. You pick out a dress weeks before the event, have it altered and resized until it fits you perfectly. You choose your best pair of shoes and a matching handbag. You pay attention to every detail of makeup, the eyeshadow, the eyeliner, the foundation, the powder, the lipstick, the lipliner, the mascara…every horrid bit of it. When the time comes for you to enter the ballroom, you see that everyone is every bit as beautiful as you are. Everyone stands out in their own way. But then deep down inside you have this great satisfaction, that you’ve done your best, and shown your best.

It’s also like having a secret crush. You analyze everything: every word he utters, every remark he makes, every outfit he wears, every gesture he makes. You try to make sense of every single thing. You wonder about every story you tell him, how he looks at you, how he feels about you. And then, you gaze, and you dream away. Yet, you never know whether he ever thinks of you, whether he realizes you even exist. The classic crush. But again, you have that great tingling feeling when you catch a glimpse of him. That great soothing warmth, when you see him smiling at you. But no one knows that secret feeling. Just you and only you. Sweet.

So even if nobody notices how great you look, or how stupidly in love you are…is it worth the hassle? I say yes. Because then you have that great satisfaction in yourself. Knowing you’ve given your best shot, knowing that you can still dream and hope. And when there's nothing better to do about it... you laugh and laugh and laugh your heart out-until the pit of your stomach hurts so badly you cant laugh any more.

Never to let fear overflow you. Sometimes you get so caught up in worrying, in that negative enery that posseses you, that you can never enjoy anything in front of you. Don’t get overly obsessed over anything, cuz in the end everything will resolve itself. Even the damnest of problems. So don’t let your feelings dominate your logic. Easy to say… nearly impossible to do. Don’t let your dreams get in the way of reality. Cherish everything you own, everything you’ve been given. Your dreams are there to give hope, not despair. As long as you know there’s a rainbow after the rain, you always have something to look forward to :)

Sign of Spring

I wake up to the classic Mozart tune blaring from my cellphone. From the piercing sound of it, you could tell it’s not a polyphonic; one that would instantly woe me back to sleep with its soft soothing tone, of course. So I’m thankful for this blaring sound. Just the thing I need to pull me out of my deep luscious sleep. I look at the time 8:30. Good, I have 15 more minutes of sleep until my alarm clock blasts away with a crazy sound as well.

When the second alarm finally goes off, I get up sleepily, my eyes half open. I turn off my night lamp. No need to open the shades yet. Why let the whole world see me in this zombie state? I head for the bathroom, click the lights on. I blink away as I adjust to the bright neon white light. I turn the faucet, half cold half hot. I put my hand under the running water and wash my face sleepily. I slowly start my morning ordeal: brush, floss, and gurgle away at a cap full of Listerine.

I head back to my room. There’s a luring temptation to snuggle back to that nice warm bed. Instead, I turn to channel 22, and pay close attention to Insight’s weather channel. Urbana-Champaign: 50 degrees Farenheit?! Yipeee yaaay!!! There’s a sudden burst of energy as I grab my jeans and put my favorite bright pink shirt on. I open the drawer to find a fresh pair of socks and struggle to get my sneakers on.

The blinking red lights on my microwave show 9:20. I rush for my jacket and head out the door. No time for breakfast. And there’s my Monday & Wednesday morning routine.

Outside I breathe the nice crisp air. The sun trickles down on you and the sky is blue. Bright blue, with fluffy white clouds. How nice it is! Just great! As you walk briskly, you can still feel a nice tinge of cold all over but you know it’s there, it’s coming….the very signs of spring!!

Don’t you just love it? The bright sun, it’s a sign of hope, a distant positive vibe coming your way. You don’t know how soon it will come or how long it will last, but you know the cold will wash away, and warmth will rush into you. So no matter how bad the weather gets, keep believing in the sun. And you can’t help but find a smile on your face.

Rugged Pair of Sneakers

I open the closet and look through my shoe rack. I see about 10 pairs of footwear: sandals, slippers, sneakers, boots, and all the like. A modest collection, but still more than enough to wear in one day. There was once a time though, when all I would ever buy were shoes. I didn’t realize my obsession, until my sister noted the enormous amount of shoes piling up in the back room. So I created a therapy to save myself from becoming a shoe-holic. I tried as best as I could to avoid malls, altogether yielding me from the temptation of bringing home just one more pair of cute mules.

Even with my shoe obsession, it wasn’t until my near frostbite experience this winter that I realized how crucial choosing the right shoe was for your survival. Picking out the perfect shoe is just like finding that perfect partner to stroll this walk of life with. It’s not until you’ve inspected every aisle of every shoe store, that you can go home with those fresh smelling pair of leather, with a wide grin, and a feel of content. Your face lights up knowing you've found the perfect pair you’ve been looking for all along…

Well, in case you’re interested, here’s a short story of my winding shoe shopping experience...

The first shoe I came across was a pair of Keds. Years ago, having a pair of Keds would’ve been a swell thing. But who cares about them now? Are they even still in stores? I don’t know! Well, the Keds I found were just the right color, the right size; really nice and comfortable. In short, it was durable and reliable. These were the type of Keds that, even without my nagging, my mom would instantly ring up at the cash register. But to her disappointment, I didn’t think a pair of Keds was the right brand for me. At least not at that stage of my life. Maybe they just didn’t fit my style, or my personality. So, I quickly took those Keds off, in exchange for a cute pair of sandals.

These sandals seemed to fit perfectly also, but they were unquestionably the wrong color. Nevertheless, I tried hard to make them look good on me. Little did I know though, that those sandals were only for me to borrow. So shortly after, I gave the sandals back to their rightful owner, knowing that they wouldn’t have been very useful during the winter after all.

Then came along a great pair of mules. They were really stylish. They fit me perfectly, made my feet look slim, and made me look a lot taller. Again, the only problem was color. But they felt great, really! I loved these mules so much, I wore them just about every single day, for the next couple of years. It was not until recently though, that I opened my eyes and realized my perfect mules were getting worn out. One of its straps went out of place. I was still determined to fix them. I didn't want to let them go. I dropped my beloved mules at the closest Stop n Go, and asked to have the strap sewn back. Not long after, I wore my mules with pride again. Only this time they felt a little tighter around my feet. The longer I wore them, the more suffocated I became. I figured if they still looked great, I’d just deal with the slight hurting. But finally, like a sign from the sky, the heels of my favorite mules broke off. You know, like what happened in the Mentos commercial! So I guess, there wasn’t any other choice but to retire them. I had them fixed and gave them up for charity though. So perhaps now, a poor widow or orphan is happily wearing them.

Well I’m in a pair of great stilettos, now. You know, the ones with the pointed tip and really sleek heels. One look at them on your feet and you’ll get this breathtakingly stunning feel. I’ll tell you one thing though, even if these stilettos make you look utterly appealing, they make you feel quite shallow inside. These are stilettos you wear when you just wanna have fun, go out, get drunk, and not think at all. Try walking more than two blocks in them, and you’re sure to get strained. Don’t expect too much of these stilettos, they’ll only last for 3-4 months. The rest will be history. As long as you realize they won’t last forever, then you should be alright.

In the back of my head though, I keep dreaming of a pair of Cinderella slippers that I once found myself staring into. These glass slippers are ultimately beautiful, a true work of art. Its features amaze you. They make you laugh and smile at the same time. They give you this nice warm feel. And they make you dream and dream and dream. All I could ever wish for is to bring these slippers home, to keep, take care of, and adore. They are however, the most fragile piece of work; in need of great attention. They are easily approachable but truly untouchable. Not unless, of course, they are willing to be touched. Those are my great magical slippers. Still full of possibilities. Only time will tell, what will happen to them.

So, what is it I’m looking for? I think it all comes down to those perfect pair of sneakers. Comfy & stylish. The rugged pair that fit you exactly. The pair that molds and adapts itself to the shape of your feet. The ones with shoe laces that forever binds to your feet. The ones that you eventually discover you never want to take off. That’s the sneaker I’m in search of. The one that’s eternally loyal and sticks with you through all times, all weather! Could my magic slippers ever evolve to become the sneakers I long for? Maybe yes, maybe no. Meanwhile, I'll just keep walking through the aisles and aisles of sneakers in that great shoe universe out there. I’ll keep my eyes open, so I don't miss my soon to be rugged pair of sneakers!